January 3, 2011

Woke at 3:30am again and then tried to sleep on the couch. I dreamt of  a man on an iphone in our house and he peaked out from behind somewhere and then walked right through my husband. I then yelled at him and others I saw and they didn’t hear me. I believe I was seeing another Universe or something, don’t know. 

I lost my grandmother 5 yrs. ago this month. She is missed terribly. I had a very vivid dream that she came to my bed and woke me up (I'm actually not sure if I was dreaming, or if this really happened). I was so happy to see her and told her how beautiful she looked. She looked the same (she was 89 when she died), but did not look old and was just radiant and almost shiney. She told me that she wanted me to come with her because she wanted to show heaven to me. I went and all of a sudden, we were in this wonderfully beautiful place. There were trees everywhere and a stream running very swiftly. I noticed that the water was so clear that I could see to the bottom of it. I remarked to her that it smelled wonderful there. She smiled. Then I saw a road, this appeared to be a rural setting. I looked at it and said, "Oh my God, the streets really are gold!" She said, "Yes, they are". The streets were so very shiney that they looked as if they were made of glass. I was amazed that they really were gold. She took my hand and said that we needed to hurry, she wanted to show me something. When she took my hand, I noticed that her hands were beautiful. My grandmother had rheumatoid arthritis and her fingers were turned very badly. In the dream her hands were perfect. I said to her, "Your hands are normal. They look beautiful!" She just giggled. We walked for a few minutes and off in the distance was a huge tree. Nothing else, just the tree. It was so beautiful. All white. All the leaves were so white that it looked like snow. As we got closer we stopped and she said, "Look". I looked at the tree and all of a sudden, the leaves started falling off and flying. I was in total awe that the "leaves" were actually doves. Millions of them. They all took off flying at the same time. Beautiful. I said, "So beautiful". My grandmother said, "I knew you would love that".  That was all there was to it. I woke up and was so very peaceful and felt so happy to have been where we were and to have seen my grandmother again.

One night I dreamed my Aunt Bette was getting married.  My Aunt Bette was middle aged and wasn't even seeing ayone.  The next moring while having coffee with my mom I told her about my dream and she shushed me and crossed herself.  "When you dream of a wedding it means a death.  Don't say anymore."  Two days later my Uncle called to say my mom's (and Aunt Bette's) mother died.  A few months later Aunt Bette got married.  Dreaming about a wedding means death is a Greek thing I'd never known.  I was adopted; a Viking among smallish olive skinned people. 

I was named after my Aunt Chris.  I loved her dearly.  After she died I found myself next to her.  She turned to me and smiled in surprise, "What are you doing here?"  My Aunt Chris looked younger; her hair was black again, her skin was flawless, all the colors were sharp and clear but strange.  The vision of her, looking at her, was comprised of millions and millions of tiny dots - are they called pixels???  At any rate, it just occurred to me in this moment, geez, is death a hologram too, a matrix too?  I had asked my Aunt Chris if I was going to die and she smiled confidently and said yes.  I woke up.

Our bodies and life on Earth is not very important.  I'd decided I'm not going back home to the heavens after this life.  I am escaping the Earth prison and the amnesia we all have.  But I also felt a little sad since I knew I had friends long long ago in that place.  But for all I know they are now  here on Earth with me so I decided even if I don't stay on Earth I am not going back.     

Anyhow shortly after deciding that I had a dream that was profoundly joyful and powerful.  When people die often they say they are going home.  I know what they refer to.  When I rejected home it came to me in a dream to remind me of it's power. 

 I was near the top of a mountain with a friend.  I don't know who the friend was.  We were waiting at a bus stop.  We waited quite a while and saw a regular human city bus pass.  We walked a block to get a longer view down the road.  We turned around and our bus was at the stop.  It was medium green with no markings or signs.  Even the windows were green.  We both ran full speed back to the bus which was starting to turn around. 

 We got to the drivers door which was on the port side.  The driver wore sunglasses and looked at us.  I noticed we both wore sunglasses too.  The driver said "Take off your sunglasses"  We stood silently and made no move to remove our sunglasses.  When he saw this he jerked his chin towards the back and said "Get in."  Strangely enough the door in was not the door he had opened to speak with us.  It was camoflaged on the side of the bus.  We had to stare at the mechanism for a minute to figure out the secret.  Some of the passengers inside giggled when they saw we did not know how to open the bus.   We figured the puzzle out quickly and got in.

  It looked like a normal bus but people from many nationalities were there.  Everyone in the bus gave off a feeling of intense joy and relief.  It was serene and powerful.  Everyone was talking happily and elated.  While we were sitting down I was suddenly overcome with  unimaginable joy.  It was a feeling of succeeding at the one in a million chance of even getting on the bus and now we are safe within  but most important the bus was headed home.  The thought that there was a home and it was a real place was profound and enticing.  Like someone cherished had died and suddenly were standing in front of you happy and safe.  Overwhelming like if a soldier died in battle and suddenly found himself home with his wife and children and all was well and he knew it was real not a delusion.  I had not expected I would be going home ever and suddenly here I was on the only bus that goes there. 

Seconds after sitting down the bus began to move.  It immediately left the vicinity of Earth and just a moment after that was out of this solar system.  Then it began to beeline towards the center of the galaxy.  At that point in the bus the speakers began to fuzzily give instructions to the passengers.  It was all in an understandable language but the instructions were different for each region or population of people.  Each region had lived with different programming and data and the announcements were telling each tribe and race where they needed to report when we arrived and what they needed to do.  I was then a little surprised that the sound system was so poor.  I was listening anxiously for the data for the native americans but I couldn't quite hear it.  Then just as the dream ended I could see how worn and aged the bus was in addition to the speakers on the fritz.  It's like the dream shut off quick as soon as I saw that and I was wide awake.  Afterwards the incredible feeling of joy lingered.  I was so happy to remember I had a home that was real not here on Earth.  It did not change my mind on not returning.  The dream tried to reactivate my obedience by reminding me of where I came from and instead it inadvertently restored another important memory of what is real and where it is.                 

I had this dream a little over a year ago (early 2009).  My grandfather died when I was five years old (I'm 51 now).  I hadn't thought of him in years.  He came to me in a dream and we sat on a park bench holding hands for several minutes.  He was just looking at me and smiling.  I could feel a sense of love all around me.  Then he said, "It's almost time."  I panicked because I didn't know what he meant.  I said, "Not yet, I don't have things prepared for my family yet. I need more time."  Then he was gone.  I wish I had not panicked, so I could have asked him more specifically what he meant.  At the time I was trying to get situated to move out of California, and was afraid this was what the dream was referring to.  I had a dream about Los Angeles in ruin a year earlier that was prompting me to consider moving.  He may have been referring to my grandmother's health, as she is now in a nursing home in very bad shape.

dream dated 5/19/2010

didn't know where else to place this dream.  the principal player was Hugh, a childhood friend.  Hugh passed away in 1991  Up until that year I had not seen or spoken to him since graduating highschool.

hugh was practicing his trumpet for a very important concert in which he had two solo performances.  i was thrilled to see him again but also to hear the beautiful melodies he was practicing as he was always "first chair" my fiercest competitor and friend in the music world since grade 5.  i exclaimed, "hugh, how wonderful it is to hear your music after all these years."  i remember the first trumpet solo he performed with a "gold toned trumpet" being famiiar, something we had performed in our youth.  the second solo however, was totally unfamiliar to me.   upon asking hugh about the two solos hugh said "the first piece/peace is old, the second is new/knew.  the concert of the year in which hugh was to peform with the golden trumpet was in 7 days "one week/weak" he said.  i was dissapointed to find out that i would be unabe to attend at that time but swore to myself i would find a way to be there.

now, one week from last wednesday would be 5/26/10.  in life, hugh's personal trumpet was a very fine silver tone trumpet, not gold.  he was neither happy or sad in this dream and i felt both happiness to see him and sadness as i knew i was not going to be able to attend  the concert of the year

I must preface by stating I have a severely broken wrist & arm with tons of hardware in it right now including 7 pins and external fixator. 

I awoke at 4am after having friendly conversation with "Ann Doner" she wears a 40ish hair style and is of the same physical genre as Nicole Kidman. we talk of schools for children, and other pleasantries.. she lends me her computer to look up a phone number and instead of finding the number, I find hundreds of medical abstract articles. I awake thinking that she must of been a physician. google search reveals that "ann doner vaughan" was the president of kappa delta during  the 40's and was instrumental in setting up an alliance with the american  orthopedic association to award grants for abstracts and research work in the field of orthopedics.    pretty strange huh..... see oref.org

I still dont know what Ann wants me to know....   you couldnt make this up !!